How to become a fantasy romance author.
Don’t give a f*ck.
Give all the f*cks?
Give as many f*cks as you are capable of giving.
Honestly, I have no idea how to be a fantasy romance author.
And that’s one of the beautifully messy parts of life, am I right? As humans, we have this innate drive, a deep longing to discover our passions and explore them to the ends of the earth. We’re fascinated with the world; the unknown elements call to us in an alluring siren’s song floating on the wind. If you’re one of the lucky, you allow yourself to be fully transfixed, to give into the call and dive headfirst into those passions.
Though somewhere along the way, responsibility creeps in. You’re an adult now, after all. It’s time to take on mature daily lives and do mature adult things. That spark born in our early years reduces to an ember, perhaps burning out entirely.
But what if it didn’t have to? What if you could bring that tiny spark of passion back, incorporate it into your new ‘mature’ life, and fuel the flames until it burns bright within you?
In my humble opinion, those are the passions worth fighting for. Those are the passions worth prioritizing.
And that, my friends, is what I am in the middle of trying to figure out. Story telling feeds my soul. My spark ignited once more when I decided to attempt to write a novel, and every time I read over my manuscript, that glow pulses brightly.
BUT. Along with storytelling and writing, I am also a wife and mother of four young kids! These five human beings are my everything; I have truly put every effort into being whatever they need me to be. But do you want to know what is the hardest thing for me right now? Balancing being the emotional drop zone for these tiny beings, while simultaneously creating an entire world, magic system, and characters full of back story, flaws, and their own emotions in my mind at all times. My brain is a beehive. A constant buzz. A vibration that will not cease, a cacophony of screeching voices vying for my attention. And it is so much.
Enter, some of my writer fails lately. Setting my alarm for 5:00 am every day for the past two weeks, then proceeding to turn it off and roll over at 5:00 every morning. Attempting to write in the kitchen and burning dinner. “Just checking instagram real quick…” then wasting my allotted writing time on accidental doom scrolling. Having my daughter tell me I love my book more than her (we’re working on that). Comparing myself to other authors-always. (Like whyyyyy. We should be cheering each other on, not comparing ourselves!)
Some wins. That one morning a month ago when I actually did wake up at 5:00 am (I was pissed btw), and once I snuggled in with a coffee and comfy blanket, had an amazing writing session. Writing an intimate scene and the whole day being like ‘damn girl this is good’. FEELING what my characters are going through-it’s so emotional and so rewarding. Connecting with other writers in that raw, exposed way that feels like ‘Hey, here’s a bleeding part of my soul. I hope you like it.’
So, what now? Balance.
I have to balance it all or I’m afraid I might fracture. My family will always come first. But do you want to know what I’m starting to prioritize as a close second? Myself. These words need to be spoken, and I think there might be someone out there who needs to hear them. I will continue to search for that balance in my life. Search for a way to fuel this passion of mine.
So, if you’re wondering why it is taking so long to write the first book in The Woods of Brashen series, this might give you some insight! It may also show you that my characters are flawed, and my books will always contain themes of mental health, because well, write what you know! When I finish this one, you bet your ass I am so ready to start on the second in this series! It will be darker than the first, and so much fun. (Not to mention the other series that has been in the back of my mind for two years, and is now shoving itself to the forefront of my brain. I fear I will not be able to ignore this FMC much longer.)
Love you all so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here.
-Aubrey